1. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? No..Im a bitch
2. Have you ever stolen anything? Yea..im a thief too
3. When was the last time you wanted to punch someone? Today when Shelby flipped me off
4. What class in high school did you think was totally useless? Gym
5. Would you ever bungee jump? Hell yes
6. Do you have a driver's license: As of now, yes
7. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? Im tired
8. Favorite alcoholic drink? Beer: Budweiser Liquor: Captain Others: Skyy Blue, Baja Luna, Blue Maui, Zima, ect..
9. Whats under your bed? A monster
10. Favorite physical feature of the opposite sex? I plead the 5th
11. Whats your favorite kitchen appliance? Im in love with my microwave
12. If you could play any instrument, what would it be? Im not the band fag type
13. Which do you prefer, sports car or SUV? Mini Van J
14. Favorite childrens book? Run away from home, your parents will thank you
15. Whats your favorite day? My day off of work and Drunk Bitch Friday
16. Whats in the trunk of your car? Not Andy Travis
17. What color underwear are you wearing right now? How do you know Im wearing underwear right now?? Dan Madigan isnt..
18. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? If I thought I was a crayon Id probably be in a padded room
19. Where did you go or plan to go on your honeymoon? Somewhere where its fucking hot and Im next to the beach
20. How is the weather right now? Fantasticbesides the fact you have to swim across the road
21. How was your day? Great, how was yours?
22. Do you have any siblings? Yeah, a bunch
23. Hugs or Kisses? Ill take both, thanks
24. blonde joke: I dont know about that, but my manager Matt at BK once said fat one and skinny one laying in the bed, fat one rolled over and skinny one was dead but that was only because he was making fun of customers again
25. boy band: No thanks
26. bubblegum pop girl singer: hookers
27. movie quote: I wipe my own ass
28. What's the last movie you saw in theater? The Matrix Reloaded.. to be continued
29. Who is the craziest person you know? Brit, but she ISNT hyper
30. If you could change the world, what would you do? Id nuke all the foreign bastards, make a hunting season for warren sluts, and change new yorks slogan from I love New York to I love hookers and lower the legal drinking age from 21 to 10 lol
31. what is the meaning of life? Do I look like god? Go ask a priest or something
32. whats the corniest pick up line: Do you wanna take a field trip in my pants:: DS or can I hit on you:: JG
33. do you talk to the voices inside your head: again with the padded room scenario
34. do you walk around naked when nobodys home: yes
35. would you be a good hippy: fuck no, I like to take a shower in my shower, not in the fucking shit creek
36. What is the #1 priority in your life? I dont have priorities anymore Im gonna be a loser that works at Burger King
37. What did you play with as a child?: I had rats
38. If you could have any job you wanted what would it be? An easy one that pays me a shit load
39. Is the glass half empty or half full? Its not gonna be half of either after I drink it
40. Favorite News anchor: Tom Brokaw because he got anthrax mailed to him J
41. Which finger is your favorite? my middle finger, god damn people dont know how to drive
42. When did you last cry? Dont know, I dont like to cry
43. What store would you never be caught dead in? Big Lots, Im not allowed in there
44. When was the last time you wanted to punch someone? The other day when my car was wrecked
45. Do you have a driver's licence: For now
46.Last person who called? Craig on my bitchs cell phone
47. You had a drink with: Craig
48. You went to the movies with: Craig, Adam, and Mary
49. You went to the mall with: Craig and Adam
50. Favorite smells? Lol hats(dont ask cuz I dont want to explain)
51. Non favorite smells? Brandy Rae and shit(all and all-they are the same)
52. Do you like to drive fast? You could say that
53. Wheres your favorite place to be? Hectors Falls..
54. Whats in the trunk of your car? I dont know my car is in pieces
55. radio station: the jazz station
56. What's the last movie you saw in theater? Part of too fast too furious
57. have you ever peed your pants: all the time
58. whats the last word you spoke: believe it or not underwear(I was telling my mom a story)
59. Food?: I don't eat, remember, lol
60. School Subject: Mr. Baker don't look down my pants
61. Latin Singer: stupid foreigners
62. Describe your dream spouse: smart, but sensitive and has a sense of humor... haha what the hell am i talking about - he sounds like a homo
63. The way to a man/woman's heart is via: drinking the same beer
64. How long are you in the shower: depends on who's in there with me (haha j/k)
65. Have you ever peed your pants: when i was little i got a button stuck in my nose
66. If you could change your name, what would it be: i don't fucking know -- surprise me
67. Do you have a secret crush on someone famous but won't admit it cuz its too dumb: yeah.. fat bastard really turns me on
68. Would you be a good hippy: fuck no, they smell like ass
69. where would you rather be now: what is that? a nuclear bomb shelter?
70. Do you wanna wrestle: fuck yeah! in mud? please :)
71. Name someone with an accent you hate: mary, she's got that Tiona accent
72. Fav. Animal: Bud is my sexy beast
73. Fav. Sesame Street Character: Elmo -- he's kinky
74. Whens the last time you cried: Mary, you cried when i missed school, remember? 45 minutes in there...
75. Whens the last time you got a compliment: Mary - you have nice shoes Jess - your MY bitch Autumn - your the coolest and we're going to florida Justin - your Hitler, but your little blue sweatpants are cute
There I gave out some compliments so I better get some back
76. Whens the last time you yawned: right now, thanks alot
77. Whens the last time you watched Sesame Street: with my nieces (just an excuse to watch it)
78. Whens the last time you took a bath: This morning, nosey bastards
79. whens the last time you aced a test: not in awhile, unless i cheat -- gotta love mr.copley
80. Whens the last time you failed a test: Alot - Mr. Baker - you fuckin suck
81. Whens the last time you swore at someone: "fuckin asshole" - that ladies a bitch, lol
82. Whens the last time you bumped into a friend: OMG...
83. Whens the last time you did a good deed: dirty deeds done dirt cheap
84. Whens the last time you bought something: Bacitracin oinment - it not kinky or for hemorroids, lol
85. Fuzzy peaches or peach rings: fuzzy naval, lol
86. Sunburn or frostbite: thats like asking me if i would rather have hemorroids or herpes..
87. Oprah or Uma: who the fuck is Uma?
88. Stephen King or Jane Austin: i'm dyslexic
89. Marilyn Manson or Dennis Rodman: at least rodman matches his hair with his finger nails.
90. Salt or Pepper: salt on that poor old man - i swear i didn't see him
91. Pool or Hot Tub: who am i with? - oh fuck that - hot tub - heat is good
92. Lose all your teeth or all your hair: neither
93. What do you think when i say - eating disorders: thats me - right?
94. What do you think when I say - boy bands: ass pack
95. What do you think when I say - Jerry Springer: violence..
96. What do you think when I say - Ribbon Campaigns: Blue ribbon rentals
97. What do you think when I say - Infomercials: the best thing made
98. What do you think when I say - Clowns: i don't want to play uncle ray rays game
99. What do you think when I say - Miss America: Skank
100. What do you think when I say - Judge Judy: Skank
101. Have you ever met a celebrity: yeah the fag came to our school
102. Have you ever eaten sushi: fuck no - raw fish is nasty
103. Have you ever been skydiving or bungee jumping: oh i will..
104. Have you ever been skiing or snowboarding: yeah
105: Have you ever swam in the ocean: yeah
106. What makes you want to puke: boy bands
107. What makes you want to get up and dance: squirrel nut zippers all the way!
108. What makes you wonder about the singer or group: La Douche or La Bouche or whatever the fuck it is
109. What brings back childhood memories: da da da
110. What makes you all teary eyed: fat cat keeps getting fatter and the goat song
111. What makes you want to sleep: country
112. What is the best to slow dance to: Ice Ice Baby
113. What is the best to mosh to: Britney Spears
114. What has the worst music video: Lil Kim is nasty
115. What do you have no idea what the lyrics are: Barney
116. What is overplayed: everything on the radio
117. What is overplayed but you still love it: I'm still jammin' to Ice Ice Baby
118. What perfectly describes your life situation: It'll be ok
119. What has the mosst inspiring lyrics: ...and i do my little turn on the catwalk...
120. What has the best instrumentals: my moms meditation music
121. What do you hate to admit you like: ice ice baby.. de de de de dedede de
122. What do your parents hate you to listen to: my mom jams to busta
*~*~*~*~NEW SURVEY~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
1)Starting time: 10:12...waiting for mary to get the hell out of bed and think to herself "wow, i need to get online because i know Lesa has no life and is on there waiting for me"
2)Full name: Lesa Hoden - i have a middle name too, but i'd rather not reveal that much about myself
3)Nicknames: well for some reason mary calls me fashca...and master, because i do own her, she's like my little puppy you get on christmas :) so excited to get one, but then you beat the fuck out of it when no ones watching :) but its ok, she is my slave...mary be good nigger!!no offense, i'm not racist..
4)School: i went to sheffield..which me and mary have to go back to visit, because WE ARE celebrities now...but we also have to go to Beaty to see our beloved Mr. Baker...as long as he doesn't try to look down my pants..?!?!?!
5) E-mail: well i'd give it to ya...but if you know me, you already know it or know how to get it (look at the top) but if some foreign piece of shit happens to intercept this i will have nothing to worry about because they are fuckin stupid and won't know where to look...but i love foreigners..mary enjoys my conversations with the bastards :)
6) Eyes: well i think they are blue, but the again i don't really know because they aren't truely blue, they'd have some name like aqua marine bluish with a splash of some light color... wait..i'll get back to you on that, i need to find Mr. Lucas (the worlds greatest and sexiest art teacher!)
7) Height: i'm not exactly sure...5 somethin..i'd look at my drivers license but i think my brother bobby has it...or maybe he gave it to lyle and mary...but if i had a tape measure, i'd check that out for you :)
8) Siblings: well i'm just gonna leave it at alot...i have an abnormally large number of siblings...and i prefer not to tell you cuz then you'd think that my parents were addicted to "making kids" and they are my parents so i'd just rather not think about that sortof thing...
9) Ever been kissed: well this one time, but i'm trying to keep it on the DL so if you tell anyone i'll get in contact with my dads friends from kentucky who are in the mafia..and unfortunatly to say, they'll "hit" you (if you know what i mean)
10) Ever cheated or been cheated on?: nah....or at least i hope not...that would be pretty shitty...and i would kick someones ass...i gotta take up some sort of self defense...or get a body guard so i can just be like "beat them" and boom, he pummles them...obedient, yes obedient..
11) Ever missed school because it was raining?: i'd miss school for anything...school sucks, we all know this... but i loved seeing mr.baker...he looked forward to me and mary everyday...so its understandable if he was devastated when we didn't show up...so devastated that when we graduated he missed us so much he had to change schools...and go to younger kids...like me and mary :)
12) Ever faked sick?: i might have...but then after school your like "wow that was the quickest case of the flu yet! i feel like a million buck, can i go to marys and watch porn now???"
13) Kept a secret from everyone?: probably....but i hope it wasn't that important because if so i don't remember it...but me and mary did have secrets from my parents..and her sister...but she spilled her guts to her sister...so what are you gonna do now?? "sonya, i'm going out with lesa to church"...then the next day "well, we were gonna go to church, but we got there, and we could smell that insense shit from outside, then we saw a dude in a robe, so we ran. and somehow lesa had a bottle of blue maui in her jacket, so we just decided to drink it...after we walked to the gravel pit"......"so i'm going to bed now, yeah...goodnight"
14) Had an imaginary friend?: well i wouldn't say that exactly....but maybe i'd make me a friend...or at least one to tell my parents "mom, i'm going to Jill's house..we're having a 'sleep over'...its her birthday..i'll be home tomorrow"
15) Wanted to hook up with a friend?: no. never! you cannot proove a thing...well, that is...unless you call mark my friend...but everything is solved-we're going to Iowa now...mary, he will be 43 this april :) and your sister can share damnit
17) Which celebrity do you have a crush on?: well there was this point i was obsessed with fat bastard, i loved the fact he could pull chicken out of nowhere...just so sexy... but i'm over that now...no more obsessions with celebrities.... :(
18) Ever thought of animated characters as hott?: no, but ever think that your best friends older sisters husband was?!?!?! yeah - me either...
-----------------FAVORITES----------------
19) Drink: i used to love root beer, but i don't anymore and i don't know why...and strawberry fruitopia, but i'm not sure if i like that anymore either....so maybe water...the taste stays the same..
20) Food: well alot of people say i don't eat...but i'm not sure what my favorite is...but in the hospital i ate something that looked like baby crap through a tube that went up my nose and down my thoat...how many people can say that?
21) Restaurant: i'm poor and lets not get into it...but just for the record...mary LOVES KFC
23) Color: blue - everyone knows this....i have a weird addiction with the color blue. and maybe i need counceling for that...but mary was gonna dye her hair hott pink
24)Summer/Winter?: summer, because i hate the cold and i have this problem, i don't like to wear long sleeve shirts...or any sleeve shirts for that matter... i think i'm gonna move to the bahamas and start my own nudist colony...unfortunately, i think i'll be the only one in the colony, so i'll probably be in jail...
26) Lace, silk or satin? thats a hard one.....depends what it is i guess...i like them all, thanks :)
27) Like anyone?: yes i do...Craig Vanderhoof, but we all know this, or we should...and if you don't know, you do now :) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>oh yeah, Craig comes first but i like mark irons too....we talked on the phone the other day...it was great :) he wants me...>>>>>>>>>>> but yeah, I LOVE CRAIG!!
28) Who have you known the longest out of your current friends?: i don't fuckin know! you think i can keep track of time??? hell no.... but i'm just gonna say mary....cuz she's the only one i really stayed friends with...and i actually remember running around her house in Tiona without shoes in the middle of winter....yes...its all coming back to me now.....What?!?!?!? where the hell did the tires go?!?!?!?!?!
29) Who's the shyest?: dude....wheres my car???? i mean, i'm shy ;| what can i say...i'm just bashful...but not as much as mary was when she was around the other MW
31) Who do you go to for advice?: never go to my dad for advice...he might yell at you, kick you, and steal your money....or just yell, but he might as well kick you and steal your money...my dad has a temper... but i like the friendly mary advice she has...unless she's hitting on my mom...then it kinda creeps me out...but all is golden :)
32) question deleted: fine...i'll make up my own fuckin question.... is mary online yet? FUCK NO!! where the hell is she??? she's doing this to me on purpose....
---------IN THE LAST 2 WEEKS HAVE YOU------------
33) Cried?: dot dot dot
34) Been mean?: i am mean...but i blame it on my genes...the ones from my dad, not the ones i'm wearing....
36) Been sarcastic?: definently not
37) Been yelled at?: i get yelled at alot, so lets not go there
38) Talked to someone you have a crush on?: yes.....i have a crush on craig vanderhoof, but try not to tell alot of people....
39) Kissed someone?: maybe.....maybe not.....i'll leave you wondering if i have or haven't, but try not to wonder too long cuz that'll just make me feel a little weird and uncomfortable, just like when mary told me she has a thing for my mom, but lets not go there
40) Hugged someone?: maybe....have you hugged your four wheeler today?? sorry..i don't know why that came to my head, but it did....
42) Wished upon a star?: ummm....its been pretty fuckin cloudy out and i can't see the stars...not that i could look up anyways...hello, i'm a little cripple here...
43) Laughed until you've cried?: hmmm....i don't know...prolly not....being handicap is not a laughing matter....
44) Played Truth or Dare?: no i haven't....how many times do i have to fuckin tell you i'm handicap...don't rub it in...
45) Watched a sunrise/sunset?: where the hell did the sun go???? you can't watch something you can't see...
46) Went to the beach at night?: yes...i went to the two mile beach yesterday in sheffield...just me and my bathing suit and some suntan lotion...
49) Are you lonely?: yeah...otherwise i wouldn't be taking forever to fill out this survey and wait for mary to get online so that i can tell her what i'm saying to the foreigners...
50) Are you happy?: of course...but i'm also freezing...and lazy, i need to shower...
51) Are you talking to someone online?: someone who's nickname is the killer and someone named salah wael
-----------DO YOU BELIEVE IN.......------------
52) God/Devil?: i don't know...i used to believe in santa claus until he appears at every single mall i go to and he has a detachable beard
53) Love?: I Love Craig Vanderhoof....but the other day he told me that my mom had it going on...why is everyone using for my mom??
54) The Monster under the bed?: there is no "under my bed" -- it doesn't exist...i sleep on a cardboard box on the floor, ya know...like the homeless guy
56) Heaven/hell?: i don't know...i sure say hell alot...ya know "What the hell is that???" --"oh, a nuclear bomb shelter"...
57) Superstitions?: not that i can think of
58) Half empty or half full?: well this glass i have by my computer full of milk...is half nasty..its been sitting there awhile and has this film like shit to it...think its time to take it downstairs...
59) Who named you?: i think my parents did...i sure hope it wasn't a preist
60) Favorite quote?: the first one that comes to me is "i wipe my own ass" -- not that its my favorite, but thats just what came to me....
61) When was the last time you showered?: god damn it..i'm filling out this survey first which is taking forever....but then i'm going to go shower...
62)what is the last thing you said online?: Hody's Sister (10:44 AM) :great...i hope you get syphillis from your grandma
63) What is right next to you?: the nasty milk, but give me a fucking minute and i'll take it downstairs
64) What is your computer desk made of: umm...some sort of wood...yes wood...
65) What was the last thing that you did?: took a drink of root beer, which i'm not liking, but it was either that or the nasty milk...
66) Where do you want to go on your honeymoon?: anywhere hot...i'm not picky...if its warm, i'll go there...
67) Where do you want your wedding?: doesn't matter...i'm not picky there either...but it better be to Craig...or i'll go on a mass killing spree and kill the nuns and cows....(not really, but still...) but you know what that for some reason reminded me of? i was watching the news this morning...and someone, i think it was the sheriff or a police of some sort hit a telephone pole and like totaled his blazer...and an EMT went to help him and hit 2 horses, killing the horses and fracturinf his pelvis...how shitty is that??
68) Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with?: Craig Vanderhoof....am i not geting this across clearly???
69) How's the weather?: cloudy and cold here at 5 tan st.
70) What did you do last night?: ummm....i......don't remember.....but i don't think i did much...
71) Thing that you find attractive about the opposite sex?: i really like craigs work pants :) yes...those ones...dickies...of course :) but i tell him that almost everyday
72) How do YOU eat an Oreo?: who says i eat...?
73) All time favorite TV show?: i'm not sure...i watch movies....not t.v.
74) Dream vehicle?: well i am MOST LIKELY getting a Subaru WRX which mary has already named Rex...to replace my hunk of junk VW Beetle (Lucy)
75)What do you want to be when you grow up?: a millionaire
76) Favorite music?: Craig LOVES punk...we listen to it all the time :)
77)Favorite band or group?: i don't have a favorite...i listen to almost everything....i say almost, cuz i don't like country and some music just creeps me out...
78) This question is repeated. i don't have a favorite...i listen to almost everything....i say almost, cuz i don't like country and some music just creeps me out...
80) Favorite days of the week?: Friday and Saturday
81) Favorite animal?: Bud
82) Brand of clothing?: Craig wears dickies :)
83) If you could change your name, what would it be?: well i'm not gonna change my name so it doesn't matter
84) Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?: i sleep on my waterbed that mary pissed in....but no i do not sleep with stuffed animals...maybe a bf, but not a stuffed animal...
86) First Son's name?: what the hell?? i had a son??? a first son?? does that mean i have more than one??
87) Husband/ Wife name?: i'm not married yet damnit....
88) First daughter's name?: holy shit...i had a daughter too?? a first daughter?? i have more than one daughter?? how long was i out???
90) You like scary or funny movies better?: both
91) On the phone or in person?: to my autn olga...on the phone or not at all....but i wish craig were here :(
92) Lust or Love?: combine them both :)
93) If you could change something about yourself?: i, uh...need a new neck...mine doesn't turn too well....and will somebody please stuff the meat back in there??cuz its hanging out and draws attention
94) Where were you born?: the same place i was discharged from in november
95) Do you have pets?: yes.....i do
96) Who sent this to you?: mary
97) What do you think about this person?: well sometimes she hits on me...and sometimes she hits on my mom....but its ok...all is forgiven...now get the fuck online!!
98) Your favorite songs?: ummm....i don't know, lol
99) Anything you want to say to everyone?: i'm freezing and have to work on my blog when i'm done with this survey, but it never ends....
100) Do you want your friends to do this survey?: yes...they have to....so if i send this to you...you better do it and send it back to me
101) Time Finished: 11:36 (I told you i was bored)
