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Directions/Instructions/Warnings to ride in my car -- taped to my visor.
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Read carefully before riding in Lesa Hoden's pimpin' car: If by chance we wreck and you sustain any sort of injury, the driver and her parental units are not reliable to pay any of your medical bills. If you choose not to wear your seatbelt and the driver has to slam on her brakes to avoid collision with an old lady with a walker and you kiss the windshield, she is not responsible for your mistake (hello, Lesa is driving this...have some common sense). And for any reason you annoy the driver to the point where she opens the door and kicks you out and you recieve road burn, you should have kept your mouth closed like the other instructions tell you. Now, If you still wish to ride in Lucy, your taking a risk, but may do so knowing that Lesa is not responsible in any way, shape, or form for what may happen to you... Have a kickin' day :)
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For your safety: Please note the "Holy Fuck" bar to your front. The "Jesus Christ" handle on the passenger's right. The "I'm Gonna Break My Fucking Arm" straps placed to the uncomfortable position by your head. And finally, the circular "If You Grab That We're All Gonna Die" wheel in front of the driver. Thank you for your time. Now please, hold on and shut the fuck up so I can attempt to drive this thing.
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Well, she didn't have a walker -- she had thick glasses and was behind the wheel. And the insurance company pays the medical bills. And we weren't wearing our seatbelt, so..we flew out the windows. I did recieve road burn. How ironic is that shit? Lol-fuckin' creepy.
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Well I guess I forgot a few instuctions. Like, to keep the windows rolled up because you may be sucked outside and across the road, and into the ditch and out of the ditch and back across the road and almost get crushed by my car along the way. Anyone's mistake -- I overlooked a few things.
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