*Only In America* can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance...
*Only In America* are there handicap parking spaces in front of the skating rink...
*Only In America* do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to buy prescriptions while the healthy can but cigarettes up front...
*Only In America* do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke...
*Only In America* do banks leave both doors open and chain their pens to the counter...
*Only In America* do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our needless junk in the garage...
*Only In America* do we use our answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place...
*Only In America* do we buy hot dogs in a package of 10 and buns in a package of 8...
*Only In America* do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning many and 'tics' meaning bloodsucking creatures...
*Only In America* do they have drive up ATM machines with braille lettering...
Did You Ever Wonder:
Why the sun lightens our hair but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put mascara on with their mouth closed?
Why you don't ever see the headline "psychic wins lottery"?
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Why is it that what doctors do is called "practice"?
Why is it to stop Windows 98 you have to click on Start?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liuid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of the day when traffic is the slowest called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improve tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitos?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Ya know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? why don't they make the whole airplane out of that stuff??
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Labels:
On a Sears hairdryer: do not use while sleeping..
On a bag of fritos: You could be a winner! no purchase necessary. details inside. (shoplifters special?)
On a bar of dial soap: Directions: use like regular soap (and that would be how?)
On Tesco's Tiramisu Dessert (printed on bottom): Do not turn upside down..
On Marks and Spencers BreadPudding: Product will be hot after heating.
On Packaging for a Rowenta Iron: do not iron clothes on body.
On Boot's Children Cough medicine: "do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication (we could do alot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could get those 5-year olds with head-colds off of the forklifts)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: may cause drowsiness
On most brands of Christmas lights: for indoor or outdoor use only (opposed to what...??)
On a Japanese food processor: not to be used for the other use (i'm a bit curious what the other use is)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts (talk about a news flash)
On an American airlines packet of nuts: Step one: open packet Step two: eat nuts.
On a child's superman costume: wearing this garment does not enable you to fly (bad parenting..)
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with hands or genitals. (was that happening alot or something?)
